Sonny & Cher - If I Could Turn Back Pine (Parody)

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If I could turn back pine
If I could find a sleigh
I'd take back those skis

that hurt me
And I'd sleigh.
I don't know why I put

on skis but did
I don't know why I didn't
use a sled

Toboggans
that can slip side to side
like under wear stains

skiers get sometimes.
That tree I really meant to
hurdle it

I didn't wanna see it close,
I know I made the sky
But baby if

I could turn back pine
If I could find the brake

I'd take back those skis
that hurt me.
I'd skate

All I can see is stars
And it's not a Christmas tree

Boy I'd love to cut it
like I used to do
(If I could turn back pine)

My teeth were scattered
like snowflakes apart

Like someone took ski poles
and drove it deep in my scarf

I must be a snowflake
I thought that I didn't scare

But I lost every damn funny
bone I shared with Cher.

Too fast to fell trees
I saw when I soared

Too round to go 'round
went to ground

The last thing I said was
"Bough Wow! Bone owe.

Can't teach old dogs new tricks
if I could turn back pine
if I could turn back pine