Fiddler On The Roof - If I Were A Rich Man

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[Spoken] Dear God, you made many, many poor people.
I realize, of course, that it's no shame to be poor.
But it's no great honor either.
So what would have been so terrible if I'd had a small fortune?

If I were a rich man,
Yaha deeuh deeuh deeuh deeuh deeuh deeuh dum,

All day long I'd biddy biddy bum,
If I were a wealthy man.

I wouldn't have to work hard,
Yaha deeuh buua buua buua deeba deeba dum.

If I were a biddy biddy rich
Yida deeda dida dida man.

I'd build a big tall house with rooms by the dozen,
Right in the middle of the town.
A fine tin roof with real wooden floors below.

There could be one long staircase just going up,
And one even longer coming down,
And one more leading nowhere just for show.

I'd fill my yard with chicks and turkeys and geese,
And ducks for the town to see and hear,
Squawking just as noisily as they can.

And each loud quack and cluck and gobble and honk,
Would land like a trumpet on the ear,
As if to say, "Here lives a wealthy man."

If I were a rich man,
Yaha deeuh deeuh deeuh deeuh deeuh deeuh dum,

All day long I'd biddy biddy bum,
If I were a wealthy man.

I wouldn't have to work hard,
Yaha deeuh buua buua buua deeba deeba dum.

If I were a biddy biddy rich
Yida deeda dida dida man.

I see my wife, my Golde, looking like a rich man's wife,
With a proper double~chin,
Supervising meals to her heart's delight.

I see her putting on airs
and strutting like a peacock,

Oy! what a happy mood she's in,
Screaming at the servants day and night.

The most important men in town
will come to fawn on me,

They will ask me to advise them,
Like Solomon the Wise.

"If you please, Rev Tevye,
Pardon me, Rev Tevye,"

Posing problems that would cross a Rabbi's eyes.
Lade, lade, lade, lala.

And it won't make one bit of difference,
if I answer right or wrong,
When you're rich, they think you really know.

If I were rich, I'd have the time that I lack
To sit in the synagogue and pray,
And maybe have a seat by the Eastern Wall.

And I'd discuss the holy books with the learned men
Seven hours every day.
That would be the sweetest thing of all.

If I were a rich man,
Yaha deeuh deeuh deeuh deeuh deeuh deeuh dum,

All day long I'd biddy biddy bum,
If I were a wealthy man.

I wouldn't have to work hard,
Yaha deeuh buua buua buua deeba deeba dum.

Lord who made the lion and the lamb,
You decreed I should be what I am.

Would it spoil some vast eternal plan
If I were a wealthy man?